As the saying goes, “We all have come crying into this world, and we are very blessed if we can leave this world with a smile on our face.” If we have that smile on our face at our last breath, this whole life has been lived well.
That liberation only happens when we are able to detach ourselves from whatever the world is offering to us. I’m not suggesting that you totally walk away from your life and your responsibilities, but do try to find a little time each day to just stop, take a step back, take a deep breath and be in total acceptance of what is.
I have seen people who spend so much of their time in disappointment because they do not have the kind of spouse or partner or child that they had hoped for. We think we are in control of the relationships in our lives. But the truth is, we don’t get to choose. In Sanskrit this is called “runanubandhan.” Runan means “unfinished business.” Bandhan means tied. The belief is that people are in our lives because of something unfulfilled from a previous life.
Imagine two logs floating on the ocean of time. Because of some currents, two logs are pushed together. They stick to each other and bob along together with the current. A bigger wave comes and the logs get separated. Maybe one log floats alone or sticks to another log or maybe the logs get pushed towards the shore. The relationships we have are like this.
We may not have a choice as to who comes into our life, but we do have a choice whether we are happy or unhappy within each relationship we find ourselves in. It’s our perception, our expectations, our need to control things, our need to be appreciated – all of these things impact whether we feel happy or unhappy with the people in our lives. It really has nothing to do with the other person. They have their own journey, their own drama, and their own struggles.
If we want to live a meaningful life, a spiritual life, we need to come to that acceptance that those who are in our lives are there for a reason. Try to see what you can learn from any situation that you find yourself in. We do have a choice to make our lives good for ourselves. It requires taking our attention away from the other person, and bringing it back to ourselves. Keeping the key to our happiness in our own pocket!
Carve out a little time to be with yourself free from your thoughts and expectations of others. Give yourself permission to take that step back and separate yourself from everything that is happening around you. Come home. When we are connected with our true Self, we can get a clearer view of the relationships in our lives and try to make the best of them.
Remember: Each soul has its own journey. Our life is a very blessed life if there is some faith and trust in something higher. That gives us hope.